Finding Shannon

As I prepare for an upcoming flight, I begin to pack and wonder how much I will need to take with me.  One of the things I find cumbersome about a trip is having to pack more than one bag.  One for my clothes, one for my personal items, and one for carry-on items I may take. The airlines have done their part to help me limit what I can take by charging me for anything beyond my two carry-ons.  Once I get to the airport, I have to stand in line and check in my bags, as I fumble for my license, my ticket, and my wallet as I pull my luggage behind me.  All in all, this extra effort of packing and organization does cause extra stress on a person when they plan for a trip.  My love of travel is sometimes exhausted by the extra steps I have to do – and I am grateful I don’t travel on a daily basis.

I then begin to think about the same stress one may experience by carrying emotional baggage.  It is bad enough we have to struggle with extra bags on a flight, let alone struggle with some form of baggage on a daily basis.  Are you carrying around a bunch of excess mental baggage which you don’t really need to carry? To truly enjoy your life, you need to travel as lightly as you possibly can in order to make better distance (journey in life). Mental baggage will slow you down and prevent you from reaching your goals just the same as a heavy physical load. By baggage, I mean hurt feelings, anger, jealousy, worry, etc. Carrying these things in your heart will do absolutely nothing to change your situation even if you were put in the situation by unfair treatment.  Worry, will not help you.  Worry won’t change the bad situation which is exactly the thing that you need to do. The time that you spend worrying is time which would be better spent on applying a solution to your problem. The test of a real winner is the way that he or she responds to adversity. How do you respond? Do you allow the situation to overwhelm you and take away your effectiveness, or do you regroup and rebound? Complications and negative emotions only cloud the mind and impair good judgment.    You need to keep your mind free in order to be ready to deal with the problems and issues that you face. Too many mental issues prevent you from focusing on the tasks at hand at the precise time that they need your undivided attention. You can sometimes afford to step back when things are going well but the time immediately following a catastrophe is the time that you need to be at your best.  Why deny yourself of clear thinking by holding on to something you cannot fix or change?  Why do we sometimes live inside our mental reality and very little in the reality of the present moment?  Because we cannot let go of the past or the moments that hurt us. In order to move forward and open our lives to the possibility of new beginnings, we need to detach from the past and stop allowing it to influence your experience of the present moment. The mental baggage offers nothing of value, but only takes you away from experiencing the beautiful being that you are.

Your life is a gift from God.  This journey of life that we have been given does not need to be stressful or full of worry.  We should embrace each day with a positive and focused mind and a readiness to make a difference for the better.

Do your best to start eliminating the baggage that is weighing the beauty of you down.  Lighten your load and enjoy your life.  The world awaits the BEST of YOU.

Just a few days left in 2012.  I hope this year has been one of growth in faith, love and knowledge for you.  Did you break out of your comfort zone and find a new branch of creativity?  Did you endure a commitment of betterment?  If not, 2013 may be your year.  Many choose the New Year as the time to turn over a new leaf. Smokers pledge to kick the foul habit. Some decide to change to a new and improved lifestyle. Habitual spendthrifts decide to mend their ways. And most of us, who eat unhealthy food, make it a point to eat healthier. The New Year symbolizes the birth of hope, and the renewal of life.   While it is quite worthy to improve your life in ways that are positive, consider making changes in how you interact with others, especially the younger generation.  Your positive impression will help to shape the future.  Children yearn to learn from us.

If children live with….

Criticism, they learn to condemn.

Hostility, they learn to fight.

Ridicule, they learn to be shy.

Shame, they learn to feel guilty.

Tolerance, they learn to be patient.

Encouragement, they learn confidence.

Praise, they learn to appreciate.

Fairness, they learn justice.

Security, they learn to have faith.

Approval, they learn to like themselves.

Acceptance and Friendship, they learn to find LOVE in the world.

Let 2013 be the year of making a difference in the heart of our future….

God Bless you Always.

It is a fact of life that everyone longs for love, and nearly every one grows up imagining the ideal mate – a true individual who stands out amongst the crowd – someone we cannot live without and who feels the same about us.  When this person doesn’t show up in our plan, we may begin to put doubt in our minds that love is real and it can be found.  And even though the thirst for true love is deep rooted in our hearts, we may fail to believe that it exists, we lack the confidence that we deserve it, and the means by which we can find it regardless of the past.

Some will say – “You need to love yourself first before you can love anyone else.” I tend to agree with this, but I also believe if we want to experience the true intimacy we desire, we need to be taught to love aspects of ourselves–again and again–by the people around us.  Through real models of love.  In as much as we want to control our own destiny, the humbling truth is that sometimes the only way to learn self-love is by being loved-precisely in the places where we feel most unsure and most tender. When that happens, we feel freedom and relief-and permission to love in a deeper way. No amount of positive self-talk can replicate this experience. It is a gift of understanding, not of resolution. 

Of the people you know, who sees and appreciates your true self? Who isn’t too afraid of your passion and zest for life, or too envious of your gifts? Who has the generosity of spirit to encourage you toward greater self-expression and growth? If you know of someone like this – consider them gold. Practice leaning on them more, and giving more back to them. They are, quite simply, the true way to learning and accepting love. They are what I call relationships of inspiration, and we usually need to build these relationships into in our non-romantic lives before we find them in our romantic partners.

Our search for love is a journey toward intimacy, and we shape that journey by the roads we choose. In your quest for love, the best–sometimes the only way to experience it is to find it through our most vulnerable self. But don’t lose yourself along the way by pretending to be someone you are not. Just BE YOURSELF. For only the true self can be creative and only the true self can feel REAL LOVE.

Have you ever had a dream where you find yourself running away from someone or something, and you can’t find a safe enough place to hide? Yet, if you were awake and coherent, you would be able to list at least a thousand places you could hide in easily.

Have you ever told yourself that when you come into big money, you will buy this and that…and that and this, but when you DO come into the money, you spend on it on everything EXCEPT the thing you really wanted or needed?

And ….How many times have given solid relationship, legal, business, rational, or work advice to someone, only to find yourself totally clueless and lost when found in the SAME situation at a later time?

As I perceive it – it is all an issue of perspective. Sometimes when we feel under pressure, stressed, or emotionally wound-up with so many other things, we fail to look at the bigger picture.  We become prisoners of our own minds to the extent that we fail in situations that we should have conquered. It is natural to lose yourself in a moment, but never allow any moment to control you to the point it blinds you of your perspective. We should strive to view all aspects of our life with a view from above.  With the enhanced view of all the angles, you have a competitive advantage and more power to handle any situation with ease.

This also relates to how we see others and ourselves.  If you have a problem with anybody, get in their shoes and look through their eyes, THEN look at the situation through the eyes of God (your inner conscience).  If you forget where you are or where you are going, go up high in the sky and look down at yourself as if you were God. Your map will then become clear to you. Only when you look at yourself from an outward or upward view…will YOU also become clearer to YOU.

Recently I was sharing conversation with my family at the breakfast table.  We were recalling tales of when we were young.  Someone brought up the time I misplaced my ratty, bedraggled stuffed dog I called Peaches. I was 6 at the time.  The closer it got to bedtime, the more nervous I got. Peaches and I had slept together every night for the past 3 years.  Although I was sad, somehow I managed to get some sleep.  We found Peaches a few days later in the hamper. I was so happy, I cried.  I remember telling my Dad that I wasn’t afraid to sleep without Peaches.  It was just that I slept better when she was with me.  Who was I kidding?…  Oh the fear, discomfort, unease…of not having Peaches by my side.  I think we all have had our share of thinking that we need these small tokens of comfort to keep us safe.  As an adult, I might have a small anchor that keeps me grounded – a thought, a prayer, a memory, a rosary in my pocket.   My hope for myself , though, is that these small anchors are always pointing me towards the One who really saves, who really protects me from what can really, truly and deeply harm me.  No matter what my arms cling to in the dark, my soul always clings more tightly to God.  I trust and give all my fears to him.