As you know, I’m not a hider.. I’m a Sagittarius- exceptionally honest and not afraid to talk about things some people are. I’m just known for telling the truth and that’s that. So let’s just talk about my dad dying of cancer on 2/21 and how that’s all going. This is all a part of findingshannon you know.
Let me start by saying that the decline of my father and the rise of success in my life seems like interesting parallels.. There were years of me trying to figure out my beliefs and how I wanted to perceive the world. During these years I picked up some of my fathers less favorable beliefs about money, success, possibility.. and allowed those to shape my world for a while. Those days are over, and I am sure my dad had moved on from some of those things that I picked up from him– but it’s like the best invitation right now. Here is the divine invitation that I am interpreting from this situation of going through something as hard as loosing my dad when I am only 28 years old. My father and my strained relationship was not really the best for sharing love, warmth, affection, acceptance, openness, joy and more.. and now that he is gone- My approach is to keep all the good things he gave me (which was TONS!) and let go of the yucky stuff that doesn’t serve me anymore.
This life of conscious creation requires so much letting go and releasing and I can only figure that the best way to lessen the pain and step into continually increasing health and well being is to really embrace this situation. I feel for a lot of reasons it’s easy for me to embrace my father leaving. Our relationship has been strained for a long time, there were consistent feelings of disappointment as well as seeking approval, often times our conversations would result in confusion and unrest.. We had just started to come into a place of acceptance with one another in the last couple years. There are also many reasons he will be missed- like his artistic skills, his gentle ways, his reckless love for all food, his kind heart… these kinds of things. I feel it’s important to recognize all of these things ya know… Apparently it goes like this- you loose someone, things come up, you look at them and decide whether to keep them or let them go. Sounds great to me.
One thing I’ve noticed is that I really feel closer to my dad now that he is not here anymore. He was a good person, we just didn’t really understand one another. I’m like a colorful, rainbow, indigo kid with a wild imagination and according to my mom, he was just a black and white kind of guy. With an artistic side however… So now that his energy is somewhere else I can create my own model in my mind of a good relationship with my dad. Who would think that my father who have to die in order for me to have the opportunity to create the relationship of my dreams with him. It’s a really beautiful concept I believe to have wonderful relationships whether we are near or far from people in our lives. When I think about the chance to actually reconstruct and really just HOLD on tightly to the things I did enjoy about my father and have those be the things that stay, I kind of think.. wow- I really get to do that? I feel really privileged here. We are such powerful creators as humans… to be able to shape an entire universe- I mean holy cow.
Like… time for forgiveness.
One thing my dad loved was music and dancing.. and being playful I know I got those gifts from him! Thank you! It’s a sad thing, loosing a person. I am connected to that and my life is a bit of a struggle at the moment.. but.. there is so much beauty in it as well. To understand life we can understand death- then we are dynamic individuals who do not fear, rather- we accept.
I sit here tonight and ponder why I ever thought I should try to act or behave like anyone besides myself.
I sometimes get writers block even though there are words within that I want to say. But I can’t. But I can.
What am I afraid of? What are you afraid of?
Do you long to express yourself as I do? Do you have an outlet for it?
I hope so. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have this site, and my facebook and Twitter and clothing line.. these are all ways I keep myself sane. And not only that, ways I feel like I am really reaching my potential.
I am a little concerned for myself though since my dad leaving and going back to God.. I have been observing myself and I’m generally happy with my behavior, except that I haven’t really been having conversations about the fact that my dad is gone. It seems like he left, there was a brief time where people were feeling sad for me and reaching out.. and then people go back to their lives. I think they still know that you are feeling sensitive about it and will be there for you if you need it.. I’m just noticing that people go back to their lives- just like with anything else. I’m going to some grief counseling as well as some creative arts group through the Hospice center that helped my dad’s exit.
So thats a positive thing.
Besides that, there are a lot of positive things going on- like working with Steph Peebles to help her create her clothing line. Also I’ll be rolling out my biz idea shortly that crosses all sorts of boundaries. It just is what it is and it is good!! And everyone is gonna like it. Yup That’s what’s up. I can’t share too much though, I have to get all that in order before I go running my mouth about it! I plan to release it with advertising and all this fall.
Speaking of, I think it’s about time I start an embroidery. I am gonna post some pics for you all.. maybe one of my dad- may he rest in peace, then some sewing and who knows what else I can find here.. Let’s see!!
Much is not the way it once was anymore.
I don’t pick on my skin and overeat
I don’t spend much time alone anymore- I am usually around friends and other people.
My dad crossed over about 2 weeks ago. It was sad but things seem to be moving ahead with grace and such and so on and I want to say to you that dreams really do come true. Yes they do. You just have to wish upon a star with everything that you are. You will find that the twinkle in my eye is the same power that you have access to. Let it go.. let it go.. breathe, chill out.
Om Namah Shivaya by Krishna Das is so good! Especially the remix. yes holler.
At least we will be able to say that. Can you say that?
What are you doing to contribute to the needs of the world right now?
Are you being conscious of how your actions are affecting others? Are you putting money towards foundations that use it wisely? Are you acting when you see another struggling with something you could easily assist with?
It is so important for us to be lending a hand to our fellow man. We are all one. We are only as strong as our weakest link. I am committed to freedom for the human family- if I am free, that is one thing, but I can never be free until all my brothers and sisters are free from suffering as well.
Wow, so many valuable lessons coming in these days. I want to write about something wonderful that took place recently.
Through my time of struggle, I essentially disconnected myself with my body. I used to view my body as a inconvenience, something I didn’t understand, ugly, etc.. so let’s just say that this perspective has been the result of disregarding the needs of my body and as a result there has been some disrespect of my body in the past.
So, I have been asking lately.. .I have been asking lately for a clear sign. I say “Please, sh0w me a sign, let me feel that my buttons are getting pushed, let me get angry, let me be confidant to stand in my decisions and feel I have made the right decision for my own well-being! ”
This request came up because of a few new people I met last weekend. Usually when I go out dancing I am not interested in meeting new people, I just want to go out and spend time with my friends. So when I went out last weekend that’s exactly what I went out to do. Turns out I let a few strangers into my space and started allowing them in. This guy started in telling me how much he cares for me and how he loves me and blah blah blah..
At first I was like, wow- he really likes me. And then I thought- wow-I really like me. Some of the behavior between the two of us wasn’t really working out in a way that felt great. He kept calling and texting me all last week.. I felt myself getting pulled into the drama a little bit. Then, a miracle happened!
I realized.. no. These patterns that are happening between him and I are not what feels good. And I cut it off. I ended it- and I know I made the right decision. One thing I’ve learned is to be careful about what I am attracted to.. and to try to find other ways to calibrate if it’s a good choice for me. In this case- my friend Will’s feedback, a photo of the two of us and some of the interactions that were going on between us helped me step out of my emotions long enough to stop the beast in it’s tracks!
I looked at a picture of this guy and I- my energy was all off.. I did not look good. And I had a sequence of memories that communicated to me exactly what I needed to know. I realized some patterns were getting repeated that don’t work for me! So I called it off!! I am grateful that setting boundaries is becoming easier and easier. In essence, this means sticking up for myself is becoming more regular, and my authentic expression is coming through so that I don’t find myself in situations that I can’t understand how I got there.
This is a very good thing. Cheers to setting boundaries besides “I will not be with a man that hits me” because that’s one thing to say, but instead- “I will be a man who is kind, gentle and compassionate.” Ohhh I like it!
Have you set some goals? This is not all-inclusive but it’s good to just get it out there.. so we always have something to work for.
Much love and Happy New Year to you my friends
Goals for 2010!!!
Happy New Year Shannon! This is your biggest year yet- you are going to be 29 at the end of this year and they are going to say that your year of 28 was three thousand times as great as the ones before it!
My goals for this year:
-Pay off 100% of my debts, especially the ones owed to individuals
-Repair my credit score
-Start my work with Get Motivated and James Smith company in some capacity
-Spend lots of time developing my website and gaining advertising for my social media presence! That’s right. -Tweeting for life. You hook me up and I’ll hook you up. Now propose me to your manager.
-Follow through on my commitments
-Leave everything better than I found it, everytime
-Respect the life that is within each breathing being, the beauty is astounding
-Create financial success that will improve my quality of life significantly and allow me to travel to far away places like Japan and Thailand and Singapore and Italy and Australia and Oregon and New York City and Chicago and Atlanta, Tampa, San Francisco, Los Angeles, the city of Angels- get me there, Joanne Hollywood Butler is waiting for my presence. Cuz it’s a gift! My presents is a gift and so is yours and yours and yours and yours too!
-Spend lots of time snowboarding and skateboarding and more time surfing
-Take a road/plane trip with Abby! To the coast we go, our hairs blowin in the wind- oh man do we have fun together!
-Make arrangements to see Painter Jake when it’s time
It’s your birthday today? Awesome! It’s mine too. It’s been a great day- How has yours been going?
Did you get visited by friends? Did you get two massages? You made sure to take some time to go in the hot tub and sauna too right?!
Maybe you worked for a while, maybe you didn’t. I don’t know?! Do you think people should get their brithdays off from work. ? Paid holiday? Hell yeaAA!! In reality I should have gone snowboarding today. That’s what I Would have done in my past life where snowboarding, or dancing or swimming or whatever the thing was outside of myself that I had to absorb myself in because my identity didn’t yet exist on it’s own!!
Now that I know what my energy is best presented like I can leave my imprint more clearly. Yee haw!
So you are enjoying your birthday gifts and being so grateful and thanking source for these things and the growth you went through the past year and the wonderful progress you made in your life right?! I can’t be the only one.. Tell me you are going through something like that?
Well I wanted to make sure to wish you a happy birthday and I have some really exiciting news. read it or don’t, it doesn’t matter to me…
James Smith Company contacted me today! They are looking for individuals to train in a one-on-one program. I have my interview tomorrow. oh SNAP!
Dreams come true. I got a million dollars for my birthday today lovers!!
You read the 10 intentions for a better life in the kitchen, you call your friend who is hosting open mic night and read it to him on the phone- he says… come down here and bring that positivity to the people here. You get in your car and go read it to 60 people, WITH EMOTION! make a couple amazing connections, get invited back to the next one and peace! Gotta go! You already promised your friend you would watch her runway show.
You arrive at the fashion show and the scene looks totally random at first. Upstairs there is electronic music playing, downstairs there is hip-hop. At first glance the hip hop looks and sounds a little thuggish. Then you start to listen a little more and you realize that the lyrics aren’t so bad and then you take another look around you and see that there is actually quite of bit of fashion and beauty going on within those 4 walls.
You wander upstairs for a few minutes and talk to a girl with pink hair wearing powerblue (that’s this season’s new color ps). Conversation is brief and back downstairs to watch Bayli in the fashion show.
Find out Bayli’s best friend competes in big mountain skiing at Crested Butte and Telluride- get invited to watch her sometime. Find out they need more bandannas in that crowd. Think to yourself– hmm yeah I make pretty cool insultated bandannas.
Find yourself back upstairs to see that the electronic music has been broken down and then not but two minutes later you are being invited to an afterparty. Sit down, chill with us- let’s talk. This is good. You like this. Have amazing conversations with a girl who has pink hair and is wearing power blue about business ideas and what? oh yes- she would like me to teach her how to sew. and one more thing- oh ya- this is about you. So you sew… and she wants you to teach her how to sew. And you’re walking to the car and she says- yea, I love hoodies, I love hoodies the most. My dream is to make custom hoodies.
And since you are me, imagining the beauty that you can create in your own life (somehow this concept makes sense to me). You say, well of course, I’ve been making custom hoodies since 2006. And then your heart melts again. and maybe just once more, in that moment.
Because everything that you could ask for is available for you- even a duplicate versoin of yourself with pink hair! Yes!
Hahahahaha.
After hours recording studio party, 4am rolls around and you ask yourself… why are people leaving? To go to work? What if we just stayed right here and did the care bear stare? Let’s play a game called- I have more faith than you do! Or how about, Who can have the most faith?” or some non-competitive name for an experiment of just believing that we truly have it, that it is ours and accepting it and putting it to the “test”. By making a stand and doing what we truly believe can be done. When is the time?
feedback I got this morning from my bestfriend Emily “Johanna asked- “Is Shannon always like that” and Emily said “yes” and Johanna said “that’s so awesome!”
I love it when people can accept my positive energy and finally, the universe is showing me all the people out there who can benefit from my high energy. Do you know how wonderful that feels to match those things up? I don’t feel like a weirdo anymore, I feel like a leader!
I met James Smith on November 6, 2009 and it meant a hell of a lot to me. Him and his family are doing extraordinary things and I’m in gratitude for them. They are living a classy life with style and finesse. I’m very excited about meeting them and just a little bit impressed.
I can’t be more than a little impressed because that takes me into my ego and creates separation. To get past this, I use words like “with” and “my friend” when talking about my mentors. It really works, it helps me remember that they are just people too who have come out of suffering… just like I am on my way to doing. I hope you are along for the ride in some capacity and that you too are moving forward. To expand on this a little bit… I sometimes mention Jack Canfield- I don’t think I’ve ever really talked about how feel about Jack Canfield. He is one of the most incredible people on the earth right now to me. Everything he endorses is just SO GOOD! He is the co-author of Chicken Soup for the Soul… If you have read even one of those books you know that they make you feel good! By trusting Jack Canfield’s advice and practicing some of his principles I have turned my life into a light that is so devastatingly beautiful that I have to gasp for air sometimes. It takes my breath away- and I want that for you. And you can have it too! Following Jack’s Canfield work has helped me TREMENDOUSLY along the way Go sign up for Canfield Coaching- you will be SO happy you did. Only if you want to change though… you have to want to do it. And call the coaching line all the time, it’s so worth it. You can always just call their number and schedule a consultation- that’s what created interest for me. They aren’t paying me for this btw. Anyways, I said I was going to share my technique- I refer to all these people as my friends. And they will be knowing on their end soon enough because of this simple trick. Watch my friends.. all 514 hits on my website on Dec 1!!!
I’ve been trucking through some serious stuff since the beginning of this year, Letting go and letting go and letting go. Do you know what it feels like to let go? It’s the most freedom I have ever felt, ever since I started closing up- layer and layer over another layer until you can hardly function!?
Do you know what that feels like pile on layers until you have buried yourself? Because it didn’t feel safe to express it here so you took it away. It’s soooo funny looking at pictures of me from the past, I got the most camouflage skill of anyone I know. I could blend myself into any situation perfectly! So funny… On the contrary, Photos of me are beginning to look ppreeeetttty ffflllyy for a girl that doesn’t need a white guy. Or a blue guy or a tennis shoe guy. I am so happy now just being me, it’s such a relief to finally be free!!
So about James Smith and his children (maybe a wife too)… I was blown away.. I got to dance on stage with Nathan Ozmond. I was the first to run up there p.s. James Smith is teaching people how to invest money into real estate. All that he needs from his students is a business plan that uses real estate essentially and then he turns that into something that works with his program. and I’m preparing myself for this course. I think I shared my experience with James Smith at the beginning of the month, and it was unforgettable- he said my actions “blew him away”… There was more too, and this man- you Mr. James Smith have been on stage with all the living presidents and those are the words you said to me.
Holy cow batman!
We’s on another level and I have an idea, I have a magnificent idea that helps people, young girls mostly. I learned so so so so much on my journey. The route I took through barbed wire fences and wrecking ball land.. the place where the only direction was straight to pain- other than that there was no plan. And that was a place that offered a choice- it said, finally, finally, finally it said to me last November- it game me a choice. It said “leave or leave”. Get out, there is nothing left here for you. And you have 2 choices which way you would like to go. In or Out. That’s right Shannon- you can get IN the game and accept your roles and responsibility or you can get OUT of this game HERE. What is your choice? And I hope I don’t have to explain to you that I chose IN! I want IN and I want it all, I am ready!
And I was directed back to that place of light by my friend Rico G. And I believe I will be forever grateful towards him for guiding me back there- I hope you have someone in your life who can take you gently back to your authentic self if you have lost it. Because I want this for you too so you can say with me! “and then it was time!” It was time for game on, the whining and crying, it just had to end. No more forlorn victim who didn’t have a clue- her words often sounded like she didn’t know what to do. She decided what she wants to do and is here, with a heart full of love sharing it with you.
I am helping young girls specifically to begin this project of epic proportion. I have learned techniques/values and self-care information that can heal a generation and I learned them from a very special man- Ken Lesser. And I’ll be ready to work with James Smith soon, to take on his program and apply it fully.
If you are struggling, keep your head up and keep thinking positive thoughts. Don’t be afraid, but be as positive as you can. If you have a connection to James Smith, please forward a link of this article to that man!
I love you so much.
By the way, if any of you attended the James Smith Seminar when it came to Denver. Now, everytime I listen to Beyonce’s song “Halo” I take myself back to being the presence of the class and the staff!! What an amazing group of people. xoxoxoxo
Positive Patches N' Pouches
Health Supplements to LIVE
I know I got those gifts from him! Thank you! It’s a sad thing, loosing a person. I am connected to that and my life is a bit of a struggle at the moment.. but.. there is so much beauty in it as well. To understand life we can understand death- then we are dynamic individuals who do not fear, rather- we accept.
